Butter Garlic Prawns

Hello boys and girls!

Welcome to yet another edition of cooking with Varun! Now I've been focusing (rather uncharacteristically) on vegetarian dishes the past few posts and I thought the time was ripe to cook up some non-vegetarian fare.

So the Earth's surface is about 70% water right? And of all the stuff that lives in the water, few taste as good as nice juicy prawns. Fresh plump prawns. Prawns tossed in butter. With a generous amount of garlic. A squeeze of lime. I'd best stop now.. I've already given away half the recipe! 

So breaking out of our reverie and closing our salivating mouths, let's get started!

Now before we begin, I am obligated to tell you that I came up with this recipe in true mad scientist fashion when I attempted to cook the prawns in 2 different ways at the same time and there isn't really a set measure of ingredients so you might find it a little unconventional!

You will need the following:

Fresh prawns	As many as you want. The bigger the better. FRESH being the key word! Frozen prawns taste like sawdust.
Garlic	8-10 cloves
Red chillies	4-5 depending on how brave you are
Chilli powder/flakes	1 tsp
Salt	to taste
Oil
Butter

Prep:

1. Shell and de-vein the prawns if you haven't bought the ones that are already done. (Although there are few things more tedious than de-veining a prawn so you have my sympathies.)
2. Mince the garlic.
3. Finely chop the red chillies.

Method:

1. Grab a nice big bowl. (Big enough to hold the prawns anyway.)
2. Throw in the prawns.
3. Drop in the garlic.
4. Toss in the chillies.
5. Sprinkle in the chilli powder.
6. Add in the salt.
7. Splash in the olive oil.
8. Wonder when the synonyms will stop!
9. Shake head sadly.
10. Hold up hands.
11. Wiggle your fingers.
12. Direct your wiggling fingers into the bowl.
13. Lovingly mix the contents of the bowl. (This is very important!)
14. Continue mixing even after the contents are mixed because you 'like how it feels'.
15. Withdraw hands.
16. Lower head to appreciatively sniff the contents of the bowl.
17. Wash hands.
18. Fetch some cling film.
19. Cover up the bowl.
20. Bung it in the fridge for about 30 minutes.
21. Hurl curses at me for not giving you a heads up about the wait.
22. Commence clock watching.
23. Lose patience in 20 minutes.
24. Get the prawns out of the fridge.
25. Get an oven tray.
26. Lay aluminium foil on the surface. (This stops the prawns from sticking to the tray and greatly reduces washing effort!)
27. Spread the prawns out on the tray.
28. Into the oven. 180 degrees for 8-10 minutes. (Or until you can smell them.)
29. Get prawns out of the oven.
30. Turn on the gas.
31. Bung on a pan.
32. Drop in the butter.
33. Watch the butter melt into a pretty, golden pool.
34. Tip in the cooked prawns.
35. Toss the prawns in the butter for about 1-2 minutes.
36. Turn off gas. 
37. Serve out of the pan or in a plate (if you're high maintenance).
38. Stuff face.
39. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Do not overcook the prawns. They'll shrink, curl and the texture will get hard and rubbery. Waste. 

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Mushroom Matar

Hello boys and girls!

Welcome to yet another episode of Cooking 101! Before we get down to brass tacks, lets start off with a lame joke shall we? Now now, before you roll your eyes, let me just state that I did not come up with this myself. I heard it on a TV show. Any complaints you have can be taken up with the British TV folks. Right, so joke.. Why was the mushroom always invited to parties? Now I know you're absolutely bursting with curiosity as to what the answer could be but you will have to wait until the end of this blog to find out!

The more perceptive of you happy lot have doubtless guessed from the joke and the title that we will be cooking mushrooms today. Mushroom Matar to be precise. For people not familiar with Hindi, 'matar' means pea. Now I'm aware that not everyone loves mushrooms.. I mean they are a fungus after all, growing in the damp or at the bases of trees where our canine companions often choose to relieve themselves. But here's the thing; you don't have to pick your own mushrooms! You can buy them, (mostly) urine free from most supermarkets! And I just realised, if you pick your own mushrooms and don't add in any matar you will still get a mushroom & pee dish! (Pea, pee. That was a pun! Sheesh!)

Now for the ones who have persevered and soldiered on past the previous (what some might call distasteful) paragraph, here is your reward!

For mushroom matar, you will need the following:

Mushrooms	300gms
Peas (frozen is fine)	2 cups
Onion	1 large or 2 medium
Tomatoes	3 (or 3/4th of a tin)
Ginger garlic paste	1 tsp
Jeera (cumin seeds)	1 tsp
Coriander powder	1 tbsp
Red chilli powder	2 tsp
Jeera powder	3/4 tbsp
Garam masala	pinch
Salt	to taste
Oil

Prep:

1. Cut the mushrooms into quarters.
2. Finely chop the onion(s).
3. Finely chop the tomatoes. (or open the tin.. DO NOT cut your hand on the edge!)

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a kadhai/pan on the gas.
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Toss in the jeera.
5. Step back as it starts to snap, crackle and pop.
6. Glumly watch specks of oil flying out of the pan.
7. Regret not putting a lid on.
8. Wait until the fireworks subside.
9. Approach pan.
10. Get struck by a late bloomer.
11. Add in the onions.
12. Cook for a couple of minutes.
13. Spread the onions around and make a little hole in the center with your wooden spoon.
14. Add the ginger garlic paste into the hole. 
15. Wait for a couple of minutes.
16. Mix the paste in with the onions.
17. Cook the mixture until the onions get brown.
18. Add in the coriander powder, jeera powder, red chilli powder and the garam masala.
19. Mix.
20. Cook for a minute.
21. Add in the tomatoes.
22. Mix.
23. Cook for a few minutes.
24. Add in the mushrooms.
25. Mix well until the mushrooms are coated with the masala.
26. Cook for a few minutes.
27. Add in 2 cups of water.
28. Mix.
29. Bring to a simmer.
30. Add in the matar.
31. Add in the salt.
32. Bring to a boil.
33. Bring the heat down to low.
34. Throw on a lid.
35. Take a 10 minute walk.
36. Return with high expectations.
37. Take the lid off.
38. Get hit in the face with a cloud of steam.
39. Wipe face. (And glasses if you have them.)
40. Stir.
41. Taste test.
42. Cook for a few more minutes if the peas aren't cooked.
43. Turn off gas.
44. Take the kadhai to the table. 
45. Serve with rice or rotis. 
46. Stuff face. 
47. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: You can add the masalas in after the tomatoes if you want. Keep cooking until the oil separates from the mixture to get an idea of when the tomatoes are cooked. 

Oh and the answer is, 'Because he was a fungi!'

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Sooji Ka Halwa

Hello boys and girls!

Let's start this one off with a joke shall we? No? Well tough, because I'm going to make one anyway! If you steal halwa from the respected Ms. Sue, do you get 'Sue-ji ka halwa'? Geddit? Geddit? Ow!

Right, back to work! Today's recipe is the classic, simple to make and utterly delicious sooji ka halwa.. For the uninitiated, sooji is semolina and sooji ka halwa is a sweet dish that is made fairly frequently in Indian households. If you're living at home then I'm sure your mum has been making it for you over the years and if you aren't, you're in luck, because I'm going to tell you just how to make some yourself!

So lean in real close and pay attention as I tell you how to make a halwa that is moist; loaded with almonds, raisins and ghee. Ready? Let's begin!

You will need the following:

Sooji (Semolina)	1 cup
Sugar	1 cup
Water	3 cups
Almonds	handful
Raisins	handful
Ghee	2 tbsps

Prep:

1. Chop up the almonds.

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a saucepan on the gas.
3. Splash in the water.
4. Wait for a couple of minutes until the water gets hot. (It does not need to come to a boil.)
5. Add in the sugar.
6. Stir until the sugar dissolves.
7. Turn off gas. (You don't need to make a syrup. Just dissolve the sugar.)
8. Turn on another burner.
9. Bung a pan on.
10. Add the sooji to the pan and spread it out.
11. Keep moving the sooji around with a wooden spoon until it gets light brown.
12. Get bored of moving the sooji around.
13. Start daydreaming.
14. Snap back to reality when the smell of singeing sooji hits your nostrils.
15. Sigh with relief because your sooji didn't burn.
16. Continue moving the sooji until it is a nice toasty colour.
17. Add the sugar water into the toasted sooji.
18. Jump back as it starts to sizzle and sputter. 
19. Wait a few seconds.
20. Bravely approach the pan.
21. Pick up the wooden spoon.
22. Wonder how on earth this gloopy liquidy mess will ever turn into halwa.
23. Question my sanity.
24. Decide to give it a shot anyway. 
25. Mix the contents of the pan.
26. Crank the gas up to medium.
27. Lower it a smidge.
28. Throw a lid on.
29. Walk away.
30. Walk back because you have to do the dry fruits and ghee.
31. Turn on a smaller burner.
32. Bung on a small pan.
33. Add in the ghee.
34. Wait till it heats up.
35. Add in the chopped almonds and raisins.
36. Move them around for a few minutes. (Careful not to burn the raisins!)
37. Accidentally turn off the sooji burner.
38. Turn sooji burner back on.
39. Turn off the small burner.
40. Take lid off the sooji mixture.
41. Move it around till it's cooked and the water has almost all evaporated.
42. Taste test.
43. Add in the ghee and dry fruit mixture.
44. Stir.
45. Keep stirring until you reach the desired consistency.
46. Turn off gas. 
47. Feel bad for doubting my methods.
48. Call your mom to tell her you've made halwa.
49. Stuff face. 
50. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Do frequent taste tests. If you need to add more sugar after the taste test, add in the desired amount and add in some water for good measure. If it's too sweet, then toast some more sooji, add in some water, cook and add it in with the 'too-sweet' sooji. 

Alternately, you can add the ghee, chopped almonds and the raisins right after you toast the sooji and cook it for a bit before adding in the sugar water and continue cooking normally until the sooji is all cooked and you reach the desired consistency.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Posh Burgers With Red Wine Sauce And Rosemary & Dill tossed Potatoes

Hello, boys and girls!

So I was having dinner the other day and as I was eating, I started to wonder what my most favourite things to eat were and the more I thought, the harder it got to pinpoint the stuff I love to eat most. What I did realize, however, was that burgers feature pretty high up on my list. Now I'm not talking about the burgers you get at fast food joints because lets face it, more often than not, as I'm eating those burgers, I find myself feeling pretty bad for the animal in question at having gone out so meekly and not in the blaze of glory and explosion of flavour that it so richly deserved!

I mean really, slapping a slim frozen patty on the grill and and passing it down an assembly line to be sandwiched between tiny buns and too much salad only to be devoured in 30 seconds all slathered in ketchup (hurk!) does not sit well with me.

Burger patties should be thick and meaty and juicy with the smoky flavour from the char that they get. Patties that when you bite into them cause your eyes to fly open and your tongue to tingle with delight, your mouth to mumble incoherently as your hands reach for napkins as the juices dribble down your chin.

Today's recipe celebrates the star of every burger, the patty, by plating it in a dish sans it's regular accompaniments (which if done right are nothing short of phenomenal) and instead making it a little posh by serving it instead with a rich red wine sauce and a side of tossed rosemary and dill potatoes. Throw in a glass of good red wine and you have a meal that will make your toes curl!

Please note from this point on the words patties and burgers are used interchangeably.

For my Posh Burgers With Red Wine Sauce And Rosemary & Dill tossed Potatoes, you will need the following:

For the patties:

Minced meat of your choice	1 pound (for 4 quarter pounders)
Salt	to taste
Pepper	to taste
Paprika	1 tsp
Garlic	3 - 4 cloves
Oil

Alternately, you could get the uncooked pre-pattied quarter pounders from your local supermarket.

For the sauce:

Butter	1 big chunk
Onion	1 large
Flour	2 tbsps
Bacon	3 rashers
Chicken stock	2 cups (or 2 stock cubes)
Red wine	1 cup
Salt	to taste
Pepper	to taste
Soya sauce	for colour

For the potatoes:

Baby potatoes	6-8
Rosemary	2 sprigs
Dill	1 big handful
Butter	big dollop
Salt	to taste
Pepper	to taste

Prep:

1. Mince the garlic.
2. Add the minced garlic, salt, pepper and paprika to the meat.
3. If you're using patties from the market, rub the garlic, salt, pepper and paprika onto the outside of the patties and press gently such that the garlic is embedded into the meat.
4. Shape 4 large patties (without pressing too hard).
5. Slice the onions.
6. Chop up the bacon.
7. Dissolve the stock cubes in 2 cups of water.
8. Parboil the potatoes. (This will help them cook quicker.) 
9. Cut potatoes into halves.
10. Chop up the rosemary.
11. Chop up the dill.

Method:

Burgers:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan or a skillet onto the gas.
3. Splash in some oil. (Not too much since the meat has oils of its own.)
4. Place all 4 patties into the pan.
5. Realize your pan is only big enough to hold 3.
6. Decide to do 2 at a time so the 4th patty doesn't feel left out.
7. Place a lid over the pan and let it cook for 3-4 minutes. (Do not press down on the patties as they cook as that compacts them and makes them dense and you lose all the yummy meat juices.)
8. Remove lid.
9. Gasp at the gorgeous aroma.
10. Attempt to flip patties over.
11. Expertly avoid the grease sputtering in the pan.
12. Successfully flip patties over.
13. Cook for about 3 minutes.
14. Cut into one of the patties to see if it's cooked through.
15. Get the patties out of the pan and onto a plate.
16. Fight the urge to eat them then and there.
17. Repeat for the remaining patties.
18. Keep pan aside for potatoes.

Sauce:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on the gas.
3. Melt a knob of butter in the pan.
4. Add in the onions and cook until the onions are translucent.
5. Add in the flour and cook for a few minutes.
6. Add in the chopped bacon.
7. Cook for a few minutes until the smell of bacon fills the kitchen.
8. Add in the stock.
9. Let it simmer for a minute or so.
10. Add in the red wine.
11. Dissolve some flour in some water and add in the mixture to thicken the sauce.
12. Add salt and pepper. (Not too much since the soya sauce is salty).
13. Splash in some soya sauce (or Worcestershire sauce) to give it some colour.
14. Taste test.
15. Simmer for a few minutes.
16. Turn off gas.

Potatoes:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung the burger pan/skillet onto the gas.
3. Add in some butter.
4. Throw in the potatoes.
5. Look around to make sure no one is watching.
6. Grasp the handle of the pan.
7. Toss the potatoes like the chefs on TV.
8. Watch in horror as the potatoes exit the pan and bounce off the floor.
9. Put the pan back on the gas.
10. Pick up the fallen potatoes and throw them back in the pan citing the 5 second rule.
11. Sprinkle in the salt, pepper, rosemary and dill.
12. Attempt to toss the potatoes again albeit more carefully.
13. Continue until potatoes are cooked.

Plating:

1. Put 2 burgers on a plate.
2. Heap some potatoes on the side.
3. Drizzle the sauce over the burgers.
4. Uncork a bottle of some nice red wine. 
5. Stuff face. 
6. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Now I know all the good Hindus out there will probably opt for mutton or lamb or chicken but nothing beats a good beef burger! 

Also, if you add the patties to a lightly toasted bun with a slice of fresh tomato, a slice of red onion, some smoky bacon, mustard and burger relish, you'll end up with a pretty awesome burger.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!