Mushroom Matar

Hello boys and girls!

Welcome to yet another episode of Cooking 101! Before we get down to brass tacks, lets start off with a lame joke shall we? Now now, before you roll your eyes, let me just state that I did not come up with this myself. I heard it on a TV show. Any complaints you have can be taken up with the British TV folks. Right, so joke.. Why was the mushroom always invited to parties? Now I know you're absolutely bursting with curiosity as to what the answer could be but you will have to wait until the end of this blog to find out!

The more perceptive of you happy lot have doubtless guessed from the joke and the title that we will be cooking mushrooms today. Mushroom Matar to be precise. For people not familiar with Hindi, 'matar' means pea. Now I'm aware that not everyone loves mushrooms.. I mean they are a fungus after all, growing in the damp or at the bases of trees where our canine companions often choose to relieve themselves. But here's the thing; you don't have to pick your own mushrooms! You can buy them, (mostly) urine free from most supermarkets! And I just realised, if you pick your own mushrooms and don't add in any matar you will still get a mushroom & pee dish! (Pea, pee. That was a pun! Sheesh!)

Now for the ones who have persevered and soldiered on past the previous (what some might call distasteful) paragraph, here is your reward!

For mushroom matar, you will need the following:

Mushrooms	300gms
Peas (frozen is fine)	2 cups
Onion	1 large or 2 medium
Tomatoes	3 (or 3/4th of a tin)
Ginger garlic paste	1 tsp
Jeera (cumin seeds)	1 tsp
Coriander powder	1 tbsp
Red chilli powder	2 tsp
Jeera powder	3/4 tbsp
Garam masala	pinch
Salt	to taste
Oil

Prep:

1. Cut the mushrooms into quarters.
2. Finely chop the onion(s).
3. Finely chop the tomatoes. (or open the tin.. DO NOT cut your hand on the edge!)

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a kadhai/pan on the gas.
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Toss in the jeera.
5. Step back as it starts to snap, crackle and pop.
6. Glumly watch specks of oil flying out of the pan.
7. Regret not putting a lid on.
8. Wait until the fireworks subside.
9. Approach pan.
10. Get struck by a late bloomer.
11. Add in the onions.
12. Cook for a couple of minutes.
13. Spread the onions around and make a little hole in the center with your wooden spoon.
14. Add the ginger garlic paste into the hole. 
15. Wait for a couple of minutes.
16. Mix the paste in with the onions.
17. Cook the mixture until the onions get brown.
18. Add in the coriander powder, jeera powder, red chilli powder and the garam masala.
19. Mix.
20. Cook for a minute.
21. Add in the tomatoes.
22. Mix.
23. Cook for a few minutes.
24. Add in the mushrooms.
25. Mix well until the mushrooms are coated with the masala.
26. Cook for a few minutes.
27. Add in 2 cups of water.
28. Mix.
29. Bring to a simmer.
30. Add in the matar.
31. Add in the salt.
32. Bring to a boil.
33. Bring the heat down to low.
34. Throw on a lid.
35. Take a 10 minute walk.
36. Return with high expectations.
37. Take the lid off.
38. Get hit in the face with a cloud of steam.
39. Wipe face. (And glasses if you have them.)
40. Stir.
41. Taste test.
42. Cook for a few more minutes if the peas aren't cooked.
43. Turn off gas.
44. Take the kadhai to the table. 
45. Serve with rice or rotis. 
46. Stuff face. 
47. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: You can add the masalas in after the tomatoes if you want. Keep cooking until the oil separates from the mixture to get an idea of when the tomatoes are cooked. 

Oh and the answer is, 'Because he was a fungi!'

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!