Fried Fish Masala

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to a fishy edition of cooking with Varun! They say, 'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him how to fish you feed him for a lifetime'. This is wrong. Teach a man to fish and he spends all day on a boat bored to death. And that's just weekends! What man has the luxury to go fishing on weekdays? And even if he did, what would the missus say? It would lead to misunderstandings and insecurities and fights and an inevitable messy separation! Do you want that? Do you? Do you? Instead, just give him a tenner and tell him to pick some fillets up from the supermarket! Quicker, easier and far more practical. And it saves you from the post-gutting ichthyoidal odor!

Now, we've been focusing on vegetarian dishes over the past couple of weeks and I've received some complaints from my carnivorous followers that our beloved fauna (and whatever the term for fish is) aren't getting the attention they so richly deserve. Since it has become a tradition for me over the past few years to have at least once a week (Sundays are great), I figured I'd share another one of my fishy recipes for you to try which apart from being absolutely delicious is dead easy! This dish combines a rich, thick, flavourful masala with all the elements of a great pan fried fish to deliver a spicy kick that will satisfy even the fussiest of eaters.

For Fried Fish Masala you will need the following:

Fish	5 fillets of white fish (I recommend Atlantic Cod.)
Onions	2 medium to large
Tomatoes	1 large or 2 medium
Green chillies	2-3
Red chilli powder	2-3 tsp
Ginger garlic paste	1-2 tsp
Dhaniya (coriander) powder	2tsp
Fish masala powder	1 tsp (Optional. Just a little extra flavour.)
Amchoor (dried mango)	1/2 tsp
Salt	to taste
Oil

Prep:

1. Defrost (if you have frozen fish) & cut the fillets into halves.
2. Lay the fish out on a board.
3. Sprinkle on some salt, red chilli powder, dhaniya powder, fish masala powder, amchoor and ginger garlic paste.
4. Massage into the fillets.
5. Flip the fillets over and repeat. (Use the surplus mixture on the board.)
6. Grind the onions.
7. Blend the tomatoes.
8. Chop the chillies.

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on.
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Count to 20 as the oil heats.
5. Slide in the fish.
6. Immediately be spattered with flying oil.
7. Wait until the spattering subsides.
8. Rub the smarting, splashed area as you wait. 
9. Cook for a couple of minutes. (Keep checking on the fish as you cook! Don't take 2 minutes for granted or you might end up scraping burned fish off the bottom of the pan!)
10. Flip the fish over to cook the other side. 
11. Grab a plate.
12. Put a couple of tissues down.
13. Once the fish is cooked, slide the fish onto the tissue covered plate to suck up excess oil.
14. Turn off the gas.
15. Fish out the fish bits from the pan. (See what I did there?)
16. Splash in some more oil. (If there isn't enough in the pan already.)
17. Arm yourself with the lid for the pan.
18. Take a deep calming breath.
19. Put in the onions and chillies.
20. Slap the lid on.
21. Say, 'Hah!' to the pan on foiling it's diabolical onion water spattering plan!
22. Realize that there isn't any spattering.
23. Scratch head.
24. Kick yourself for not turning the burner back on.
25. Turn the gas on.
26. Wait as the oil heats up with the onions.
27. Notice there is little or no spatter.
28. Mental note for future reference.
29. Cook the onions until very brown.
30. Add in the chilli red powder and ginger garlic paste.
31. Mix.
32. Add in the pureed tomatoes to deglaze the pan.
33. Add in the rest of the dry powders.
34. Cook until the oil separates from the tomatoes.
35. Add in a half cup of water.
36. Put the lid on.
37. Cook for about 5 minutes.
38. Take the lid off.
39. Watch the puff of steam rise from the pan to the ceiling.
40. Dry the excess water out.
41. Put your fish in.
42. Mix gently without breaking the fish.
43. Count down a minute.
44. Turn off gas.
45. Serve with rotis or rice.
46. Stuff face.
47. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: If you are fortunate enough to own two pans and can multitask, do the fish and the masala in parallel. That way your fish will not be soggy when you put it in the masala. 

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!