Tandoori Chicken Wings

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun! Once, an Indian, a Brit, an Iraqi, a Libyan, and a Turk walked into a bar. The bartender looked up, offered them a table, and said a waitress would be with them shortly to take their order. There's no joke here, I just had a very diverse group of friends in Istanbul!

Back in 2016, when I was living in Istanbul, Turkey, I used to hang out with a bunch of people of different nationalities. Of these, one of my best friends, was a big Iraqi dude, Khal Haivan. Khal Haivan and I met at the local gym where we were both members and over a couple of weeks, we became friends. Pretty soon we started working out together (I was dubbed Küçük Haivan), and also started hanging out outside of the gym. Most weekends, we'd hit the local bars with a few others, have a few drinks, attempt (and fail) to flirt with the Turkish girls, get a few more drinks, then head home. Khal Haivan had a few other Iraqi acquaintances that hung out in different circles, and from time to time, we'd meet up. One such time was when Khal Haivan's friend, I-Cannot-For-The-Life-Of-Me-Remember-His-Name-Even-Though-I've-Asked-A-100-Times, invited us to a party at some German guy's place he knew who was leaving the country and heading back to Germany, and needed a way to finish off his food and alcohol. I say invited us, he really only invited my friend, but he, in turn, invited me, and so on that Saturday night, I went off to party with some people I'd never met, hosted by a person I didn't know, invited to by a friend whose friend was the only one actually invited, whose name I could not remember. Happy days.

We got there later than we'd hoped (owing to the absolutely horrible traffic), and walked into our host's place to find it packed full of people. Apparently our host worked in a job that had people from all over the world so there was a mix of Turks, Tunisians, Brits, a couple of people from Canada, and a smattering of others. There were people who worked at embassies, in NGOs, in micro-finance (I no longer remember what that means even though I had a very long conversation with the girl who worked in the field), and some I don't even remember. All in all, it was a delightful mix of young people, just laughing, drinking, making friends, and having a great time. A couple of drinks in, Khal Haivan and I started getting peckish so we went out to the balcony where a barbeque had been set up. With dreams of chicken wings, and grilled sausages, we burst into the balcony only to discover that the food was all gone. There hadn't been very much to begin with, and our lateness didn't help matters any so we were left bereft of our much anticipated grub. With the food all gone, we went back inside with rumbling tummies and snacked on grapes and little brownies, and resumed talking to the other people there. I spoke to a YouTuber about how he made money off just his videos, learned that the origin of a girl's name was from Greek mythology where her namesake was forced to turn into a tree to avoid the advances of a God, cringed as I listened to I-Cannot-For-The-Life-Of-Me-Remember-His-Name-Even-Though-I've-Asked-A-100-Times ask a guy who worked at the French embassy how to get a British citizenship, and was recommended I read 'The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared' by another party guest. While I was talking, I discovered Khal Haivan had drank himself into a stupor and was half lying, half sitting, slumped against the bathroom door. I-Cannot-For-The-Life-Of-Me-Remember-His-Name-Even-Though-I've-Asked-A-100-Times, the resourceful guy that he was, called Khal Haivan's roommate, Wow-His-Girlfriend-Is-Kinda-Hot, who drove over, packed him into his car and drove us home officially ending the night.

As I reached home, I thought fondly of the food we did not get, and sadly weaved to bed. We may not have got wings that night, but you can. All you have to do is follow this near effortless recipe!

For my Tandoori Chicken Wings, you will need the following:

Chicken wings	1 kg
Thick yoghurt	2 dollops
Ginger garlic paste	2-3 tsp
Red chilli powder	3-4 tsp
Dhaniya (coriander) powder	2-3 tsp
Jeera (cumin) powder	2-3 tsp
Garam masala	1 tsp
Salt	to taste

Prep:

1. Wash the chicken wings.
2. Toss the chicken wings into a bowl.
3. Gloop on the yoghurt.
4. Spoon in the ginger garlic paste.
5. Sprinkle in the red chilli powder.
6. Sprinkle in the dhaniya powder.
7. Sprinkle in the jeera powder.
8. Sprinkle in the garam masala.
9. Add salt to taste.
10. Mix until the chicken is well coated with the (now red) yoghurt.
11. Wash your hands.
12. Cover the bowl up with saran wrap.
13. Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on. (Preferably one with a lid.)
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Count to 20.
5. Pop the wings in. (Make sure they're not one on top of the other.)
6. Cook for a few minutes until you have a nice sear.
7. Pop the lid on for 8-10 minutes until the wings are cooked through.
8. Take the lid off.
9. Crank up the heat.
10. Cook for a few minutes on each side until you have the desired amount of char on each side.
11. Turn off the gas.
12. Serve garnished with fresh coriander, sliced onions, and a big wedge of lime.
13. Stuff face.
14. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Crash parties. It beats sitting at home on your couch in your boxers watching House of Cards.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!