Chicken Noodle Soup

Hello, boys and girls,

Welcome to cooking with Varun! In January 2020, Ball-and-chain and I made a trip to Prague, Czech Republic. We flew out on a Friday afternoon and arrived in Prague in the early evening. After clearing immigration, we exited the airport and took a cab to our hotel. Once we had arrived, we quickly checked in, dropped off our bags, and stepped out to explore the city. Armed with a map that screamed 'TOURIST!', we made our way to the old town via. Wenceslas Square where we made our first, and quite possibly, our most important stop. At Sephora. 15 minutes later, with a new lipstick in my coat pocket and a ton of brownie points in the other, we were on our way to the old town square once again stopping briefly to hug people with 'Free Hugs' signs. To the long-haired hippie who hugged Ball-and-chain longer than necessary, I don't know who you are and I don't know what you want, but I will find you and introduce my foot to your rear end.

The next couple of days were great. The sun came out and we spent the days sight-seeing, tucking into some great food, and drinking some great beers. Sadly, all those chilled beers gave me a throat-ache and on the day before we were set to depart, I came down with a cold. As I sniffled from location to location, we came across a restaurant advertising a lunch deal of soup and a main dish in the window. Running low on local currency, and my throat waging war, we decided to stop there for lunch. Big mistake. We took a seat and ordered our food as a group of girls from a nearby table argued with the sole waiter over the french fries they had been billed for. Thinking nothing of it, we sat back and waited until our soups arrived. We tasted a spoonful and found they were stone cold. We called the waiter over to inform him of this and he very brazenly told us that they had just been made and that I was wrong. I insisted they were cold and he picked up my plate, touched the bottom and incredibly rudely asked, "This is cold?", all the time shaking his head and muttering in Czech. Not wanting to explain microwaving 101 to him, I repeated that it was and he stormed off to re-heat them. Having watched enough kitchen disaster shows, I was pretty confident the ray of sunshine that was our waiter would season our lunch with his saliva and we decided to leave. We went to the manager(?) lady and said we were leaving when the ray of sunshine came storming back out and started yelling at us. I asked, very politely, that he refrain from yelling and reminded him that the key to being in the hospitality industry was hospitality, when he screamed, "You Indians are always doing this bullshit!" and told us to fuck off. Returning his warm sentiment, we walked out of the restaurant, pausing only long enough to flip him the bird as we left.

The remainder of our trip was (predictably) uneventful in comparison and when we finally got back home the next day, I cooked up a batch of my own soup, that along with being piping hot, was also much better than the one served to us by Alexei of Restaurace U Prochazku in Prague. Normally, I'd tell you not to visit the place unless you are a fan of rudeness and racial abuse, but I'm fairly confident that given Alexei's winning personality coupled with the stand out quality of their food, it won't remain open for very long.

For my Chicken Noodle Soup, you will need the following:

Chicken breasts	2 (boneless and skinless)
Noodles	100 gm
Celery	2 stalks
Carrots	2
Garlic	4-5 cloves
Mushrooms	4-5 big ones
Chicken stock	1.5 litres (stock cubes + water)
Peppercorns	tiny handful
Butter	knob
Olive Oil	splash
Salt	to taste
Pepper	to taste

Prep:

1. Peel and chop the carrots.
2. Chop up the celery.
3. Bash and mince the garlic.
4. Slice the mushrooms.
5. Make the chicken stock by dropping 2-3 stock cubes in hot water.
6. Pop the stock on the gas and drop in the chicken breasts.
7. Bring to a boil.
8. Drop to a simmer and cook for about 20 minutes.
9. Fish out the chicken breasts and let cool. (Keep the stock aside.)
10. Shred the chicken with a fork (or a hand mixer which is surprisingly effective!)

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a saucepan on.
3. Plonk in a knob of butter.
4. Pour in a glug of olive oil.
5. Toss in some peppercorns for good measure.
6. Plop in the carrots.
7. Drop in the celery.
8. Toss in the garlic.
9. Cook until the carrots and celery have softened.
10. Pour in the stock.
11. Throw in the mushrooms.
12. Add in the shredded chicken.
13. Drop in the noodles.
14. Add salt and pepper to taste. (The stock will already have salt from the cubes so taste before you sprinkle!)
15. Bring to a boil.
16. Drop to a simmer.
17. Pop a lid on and cook until the noodles are done.
18. Turn the gas off.
19. Ladle the hot soup into a bowl, top with crushed pepper and parsley, and serve with crusty bread (or a garlic baguette).
20. Stuff face.
21. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Don't be racist. It's not nice.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!