Hello, boys and girls!
Welcome to cooking with Varun! I love Goan food. It's the main reason I visit Goa. It's not nearly as much about the beaches and inexpensive alcohol for me as it is about the food. The vindaloos and the recheados and the xacuttis and the balchaos get me all kinds of worked up! And the best food is in the little hidey holes. The small nondescript restaurants away from the beach and the chaos serve up some amazing food that is infinitely better tasting and much better value for money than any beach shack.
Another reason I visit Goa is for weddings. In December of 2018, my friends and I made a trip to South Goa for the wedding of a fellow food lover, The Real Foodie. We arrived a couple of days in advance and were all staying at the same hotel so we used the non-wedding time to get out and eat as much food as we could and lie on the beach for as long as possible before resembling xacuttis ourselves!
The afternoon before the wedding, we decided to go for a dip in the sea. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my shorts back at the hotel. Fortunately, my friend, Kombucha-maker, had a spare pair she lent me. I know what you're thinking, surely a bloke in girly shorts is the last thing fellow beach-goers want to see, but these were no ordinary shorts. These were magic shorts that not only seem to fit everyone who needs them, but also makes their booty look great! From Kombucha-maker herself, to her 6'2" husband, Tall Crap, and even skinny chefs with perfect posteriors, these off-white, linen, mid-thigh shorts with a tie belt serve without prejudice. And so, I donned the shorts of destiny and followed my friends into the water. Now Goa is pretty warm all year round, but it was December so the water was on the colder side, and we had had a couple of beverages so it was inevitable that nature would call. After announcing loudly to the group (as one does) that I needed to pee, the others realized they had to go as well. Too lazy to swim back to shore, walk across the sand, into a restaurant, and then back again, Tall Crap and I decided to go in the sea (like normal people) and suggested Kombucha-maker and Ball-and-chain to do the same. After many 'ews' and 'yucks' and 'no ways', they were on board. A few seconds later, what might seem like just another group of friends in a large circle laughing about something to the casual swimmer who was surprised to find a warm patch of water, we found ourselves peeing in the Arabian sea while maintaining a comfortable eye-contact.
Soon after the deed was done, we swam back to the shore. As we leisurely dried off, we checked the time and were shocked to see how late it was. We rushed back to the hotel for a quick shower before heading to The Real Foodie's wedding where we ate and drank and made merry deep into the night before an early flight out the following morning. While we were off dancing at the wedding, the shorts of destiny were sitting on a little plastic stool in the bathroom of my hotel room where they had been unceremoniously dumped in favour of not being murdered by the bride for being late. And that is where we found them in our last minute scan of the room as we were checking out. With no time to wash them, I put my faith in Poseidon's ability to rinse shorts in his kingdom, and stuffed them in a plastic bag before returning them to their rightful owner as we departed.
This recipe is for a tangy and pickly and scrummy Goan style Pork Vindaloo that unlike its overseas counterparts isn't all fire and acidity and death, and is my favourite dish to order in any Goan establishment. While this dish has nothing to do with the shorts of destiny, it will give you the same warmth and comfort and tingles as peeing in the cold(ish) sea on a warm day with people you love.
For my Pork Vindaloo, you will need the following:
Prep:
Tip: The best part of a pork vindaloo for me is the fat on the pork pieces so I would suggest using fatty pieces if you can. My personal preference is pork belly.
And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy.
The afternoon before the wedding, we decided to go for a dip in the sea. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my shorts back at the hotel. Fortunately, my friend, Kombucha-maker, had a spare pair she lent me. I know what you're thinking, surely a bloke in girly shorts is the last thing fellow beach-goers want to see, but these were no ordinary shorts. These were magic shorts that not only seem to fit everyone who needs them, but also makes their booty look great! From Kombucha-maker herself, to her 6'2" husband, Tall Crap, and even skinny chefs with perfect posteriors, these off-white, linen, mid-thigh shorts with a tie belt serve without prejudice. And so, I donned the shorts of destiny and followed my friends into the water. Now Goa is pretty warm all year round, but it was December so the water was on the colder side, and we had had a couple of beverages so it was inevitable that nature would call. After announcing loudly to the group (as one does) that I needed to pee, the others realized they had to go as well. Too lazy to swim back to shore, walk across the sand, into a restaurant, and then back again, Tall Crap and I decided to go in the sea (like normal people) and suggested Kombucha-maker and Ball-and-chain to do the same. After many 'ews' and 'yucks' and 'no ways', they were on board. A few seconds later, what might seem like just another group of friends in a large circle laughing about something to the casual swimmer who was surprised to find a warm patch of water, we found ourselves peeing in the Arabian sea while maintaining a comfortable eye-contact.
Soon after the deed was done, we swam back to the shore. As we leisurely dried off, we checked the time and were shocked to see how late it was. We rushed back to the hotel for a quick shower before heading to The Real Foodie's wedding where we ate and drank and made merry deep into the night before an early flight out the following morning. While we were off dancing at the wedding, the shorts of destiny were sitting on a little plastic stool in the bathroom of my hotel room where they had been unceremoniously dumped in favour of not being murdered by the bride for being late. And that is where we found them in our last minute scan of the room as we were checking out. With no time to wash them, I put my faith in Poseidon's ability to rinse shorts in his kingdom, and stuffed them in a plastic bag before returning them to their rightful owner as we departed.
This recipe is for a tangy and pickly and scrummy Goan style Pork Vindaloo that unlike its overseas counterparts isn't all fire and acidity and death, and is my favourite dish to order in any Goan establishment. While this dish has nothing to do with the shorts of destiny, it will give you the same warmth and comfort and tingles as peeing in the cold(ish) sea on a warm day with people you love.
For my Pork Vindaloo, you will need the following:
| Pork | 500 gms |
| Onions | 1 large or 2 medium |
| Dried Kashmiri chillies | 8 |
| Garlic cloves | 4 |
| Ginger | 1/2" piece |
| Jeera (cumin seeds) | 1 tsp |
| Cinnamon | 1" piece broken into 2 |
| Peppercorns | 8-10 |
| Cloves | 4 |
| White vinegar | to taste |
| Salt | to taste |
| Oil |
Prep:
- Soak the Kashmiri chillies in boiling water for 15 mins.
- Cut the pork into cubes and dry it with a paper towel.
- Grab a grinder.
- Drain the water from the chillies and pop them in the grinder.
- Toss in the ginger, garlic, jeera, one piece of cinnamon, 4-5 peppercorns, 2 cloves, a splash of vinegar, some water and blitz the lot until smooth. This is your vindaloo paste.
- Plonk the cubed pork in a big bowl.
- Spoon on the vindaloo paste. (Don't rinse the grinder yet!)
- Sprinkle on salt to taste.
- Mix well so all the pork is well coated.
- Wash your hands.
- Touch face.
- If it burns, wash your hands again.
- Cover the bowl and pop in the fridge overnight.
- Quarter the onions.
- Plop them in the un-rinsed grinder. (Why waste paste?)
- Blitz.
- Save for the next day.
- Turn on the gas.
- Bung a pan on.
- Splash in some oil.
- Bounce in the remaining peppercorns, cloves, and cinnamon.
- Spoon in your pasty onions.
- Cook until they start to brown.
- Chuck in the marinated pork.
- Mix and cook for a few minutes.
- Pour in a cup or two of water, salt to taste, and stir.
- Bring to a boil.
- Drop to a simmer.
- Slap a lid on and cook until the pork is done.
- Take the lid off.
- Adjust the salt and vinegar as desired.
- Turn the gas off.
- Serve with pao.
- Stuff face.
- Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.
Tip: The best part of a pork vindaloo for me is the fat on the pork pieces so I would suggest using fatty pieces if you can. My personal preference is pork belly.
And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy.
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