Thick Peanut Butter & Ice-Cream Milkshake

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to blending with Varun! That's right, no cooking required in this one, so you can put those saucepans away; those spices too. That's it. Good, boys and girls. Very good. Now dance, my puppets! (Evil laugh!)

I went on a little holiday to Greece not long ago. My first truly solo trip. I was turning 31, and I couldn't bear the thought of sitting at home doing nothing (like the magical night that was my New Years Eve 2016), so I figured, 'Eh.. I've been living alone for more than a few months now, and the conversation in my head is always top notch, so why not?'. So I logged on to the internet, started browsing flights, hotels, travel blogs, reviews, the whole shabang, and just like that, I had my trip booked. Visa in hand, backpack on my.. well, back, I was ready to set off and go exploring!

As I was on this journey of self discovery (never hurts to pretend to be deep and what not), I realized/reinforced certain things about myself. I do hope you can relate to at least a few of them to make me feel slightly less weird.

• I should always carry a thicker book to read. (I'm old school, so no e-readers.)
• People tend to look oddly, and stare when I walk down the street in shorts and a tee when they're wearing heavy coats.
• People tend to stare even more as I walk down the street talking to myself in a Scottish accent (I'm not Scottish).
• I cannot ride a bike without singing loudly.
• Wi-fi and social media enable me to be able to dine alone at a restaurant without feeling too sorry for myself.
• I'll drink most beers.
• I can walk for hours without needing to stop for a rest.
• I'm the worst in the world when it comes to taking a selfie. (Which is why I hardly ever take them.)
• I can trick myself into buying a Frappucino over a milkshake (I don't drink coffee), but I can't trick myself into liking it.

So as you've probably guessed, we're going to be riding the coattails of that last one to ease ourselves into today's recipe, because let's face it, few things are better than a nice, thick, chilled, creamy milkshake!

For my Thick Peanut Butter & Ice-Cream Milkshake, you will need the following:

Milk	big glass
Peanut butter	big dollop
Ice-cream	3-4 scoops (I used 2 different flavours: chocolate chip, and cheesecake)
Sugar	depending on how much of a sugar rush you want

Prep:

1. Soften the ice-cream a little.

Method:

1. Grab a blender (with the big plastic base attachment you use to blitz onions).
2. Pour in the milk.
3. Plop in the peanut butter.
4. Scoop in the ice cream.
5. Sprinkle on the sugar.
6. Pop the lid on.
7. Blitz to high heaven.
8. Take the lid off.
9. Pour the contents back into the glass (it won't all fit so take a couple of swigs to make room).
10. Throw on another scoop of chocolate chip ice-cream.
11. Flip the calories the bird.
12. Chug.
13. Chew.
14. Resume chugging.
15. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed milkshake.

Tip: Don't drink this everyday. If you do, you will die a lot sooner than you normally would. Don't say I didn't warn you. Also, there's another milkshake recipe right here.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy.

Bacon & Salsa Hot Dogs

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun! Sometimes I do things I'm not proud of (no, this one does not involve a girl), and this was one of those times. Back in 2010, when I was living in Melbourne, Australia for a bit, for work, a couple of office friends and I planned a trip to the Gold Coast to go hit the theme parks it is known for. I had a good friend, Littlest Little Finger, who lived in Brisbane, whom I hadn't seen for some time, that I wanted to catch up with, and since she was fairly close to the Gold Coast, we compared schedules and made a plan. 

My friends and I landed at the Gold Coast on a Friday, picked up our rental car, and made our way to our hotel at Surfers Paradise where we spent the day walking around the town, eating, and having races on the still chilly beach. (I won. Obviously.) On Saturday morning, we headed to the Warner Brothers Movie World, where we met Littlest Little Finger and her roommate, and after greetings and introductions were made, geeked out over all the rides on offer! After hours of riding the Superman themed rollercoaster, the Batman themed ride, the countless others, and screaming ourselves hoarse, we took a break to grab a bite and buy some mementos. I was immediately drawn to a really cool t-shirt featuring 'The Flash', that I promptly purchased, and then sat down and watched the live action shows at the park for the remainder of our time. As the sun sank lower and lower on the horizon, we bid our goodbyes, and headed back to our hotel.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, after having lovingly hand washing my Flash tee the first time, I accidentally put it in the washing machine the next time after I'd worn it, causing some of the chest print to come off, ruining the t-shirt completely. I was absolutely horrified, and after berating my stupidity for the next few days, I resigned myself to the fact that apart from somehow tapping into the Speedforce to go back and stop myself from committing this most grievous error, I had no option but to accept the fact my t-shirt was.. gone. As I silently mourned the t-shirt and our brief but precious time spent together, I overheard an older colleague speaking to someone about a vacation to the Gold Coast. My ears pricked up, my heartbeat skyrocketed, and the gears in my head shifted as I hatched a diabolical plan. Over the course of the next few days, whenever I saw my colleague, I hard sold the idea of visiting the Warner Brothers Movie World to him. It was already a fantastic place mind you, so I didn't have to try very hard, but I did everything in my power to lead him to believe that if he didn't visit, he would be akin to the record companies that didn't sign The Beatles. Not only that, I even persuaded him to carry my less than wearable tee with him and exchange it for a new one, and if they asked, deny that it had ever seen the inside of a washing machine, failing which, to just pick me up a new one. Miraculously, the ploy worked, and a week later, I was strutting down Swanston street in my brand new Flash tee doing an occasional little skip. 

Also, thankfully, my colleague did really like the place so my conscience (and karma) were clean!

What does this have to do with hot dogs, you ask? Well, the bite we had post our rides consisted of really big (but not nearly as delicious as these) hot dogs, and so here you go!

For my Bacon & Salsa Hot Dogs, you will need the following:

Frankfurters/Sausages	6
Hot Dog buns	6
Streaky bacon	6 rashers
Onion	1 small
Tomato	1 small
Jalapenos	15-20 (from an easily available jar)
Ketchup
Mustard
Oil

Prep:

1. Finely chop the onion.
2. Finely chop the tomato.
3. Finely chop the jalapenos.
4. Pop them in a bowl.
5. Squeeze on the lemon juice.
6. Mix them all up.
7. Voila! Salsa!

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on.
3. Add in a teensy splash of oil.
4. Roll in your frankfurters/sausages.
5. Cook until almost bursty.
6. Turn off the gas.
7. Take the franks out of the pan.
8. Let them cool for a few minutes.
9. Grab a rasher or bacon and a cooked frank.
10. Wrap the bacon around the frank (winding it round and round from end to end).
11. Secure the ends with a toothpick.
12. Repeat till all the franks are wrapped.
13. Turn the gas on again.
14. Pop the wrapped franks in.
15. Cook until the bacon starts to get crispy (not too crisp!).
16. Grab your hot dog buns.
17. Toast the buns in the greasy pan to soak up all the flavours.
18. Pop your franks in the bun (remove the toothpick!).
19. Squirt on some ketchup.
20. Squirt on some mustard.
21. Generously spoon on the salsa.
22. Serve.
23. Stuff face.
24. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Throwing on some grated cheese wouldn't be the worst idea.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Pav Bhaji

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun. Back in 2001-02, when I was in junior college, I was part of a fairly large group of people (the same group that put up 'Missing Person' posters in the Stuffed Capsicum recipe), and from time to time, as we'd make new friends, the group would get bigger. One such friend was, Boy Genius. Although he was already friends with a bunch of guys in my group on account of having been in the same school as them, he gained notoriety (or so I like to tell him) for being my doppelganger. While this isn't entirely accurate, it is true that early one morning when I ran into a classmate, Used-to-shed-on-my-jacket, she was rather surprised, and swore that she had just seen me enter a room on the opposite end of the corridor. As we watched the doorway of the room in question, Boy Genius walked out, oblivious to the confusion he had called. I can't really fault Used-to-shed-on-my-jacket though; Boy Genius and I were both skinny, 5 feet tall, dark, with big hair, and nerdy glasses. That was where the similarity ended though. As his name suggests, he was (and still is) much smarter than I, and incredibly kind, to the point that I'd call him and he would help me solve Trigonometry and Calculus problems over the phone.

As time passed, several of our number, who were aspiring to get into IIT, formed a clique, and would eat, sleep, and talk only about class, courses, and exams. Since we were fooling around a little less as a group than we used to, the few of us who didn't have the same goal formed a little clique of our own; in particular, Boy Genius, Michael Jordan Lover, Soft Spoken Bloke, and myself. We'd usually hang out on the college grounds, or at the eateries in the vicinity, and on more than a few occasions, we ended up going to Boy Genius' house since it was quite close. Visits to his house were generally eventful; we once, signed a mutual friend up with an 'alternate' email ID and sent love letters to a girl he fancied, Michael Jordan Lover and I attempted to download Pamela Anderson's sex tape on an internet connection slower than my grandmother before her knee replacement before Boy Genius saw what we were doing and stopped us, and at a particularly evil moment, cranked the volume up on Javed Jaffery's hit song, 'Mumbhai', at the exact moment when he cusses. That last one was when his mum was in the living room entertaining guests.. so umm.. yeah. Most visits to his house though, would end with us shamelessly shovelling copious amounts of pav bhaji his mum had made, and then going home and explaining to our own mothers why we weren't hungry. (And then obviously feeling hungry 12 seconds later.)

This recipe, therefore, is in honour of all the pav bhaji that Boy Genius' mum fed us! (And still does whenever I ask!)

For my Pav Bhaji, you will need the following:

Onions	1 large (and some for the garnish)
Potatoes	3-4
Tomato	1 large
Peas	1 cup
Capsicum (green pepper)	1
Red chilli powder	2-3 tsp
Pav bhaji masala	2-3 tsp
Tomato puree	big squirt (mostly for colour)
Salt	to taste
Oil

Prep:

1. Peel and boil the potatoes. (Or boil and peel. Whatever floats your boat.)
2. Boil the peas.
3. Roughly mash the potatoes and peas.
4. Cut the capsicum into small cubes.
5. Finely chop the onions.
6. Finely chop the tomatoes.

Method: 

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on.
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Count to 20.
5. Slide in the onions.
6. Cook until the onions become translucent.
7. Toss in the tomato.
8. Squirt in the puree.
9. Mix.
10. Sprinkle on the red chilli powder.
11. Sprinkle on the pav bhaji masala.
12. Pop in the capsicum.
13. Mix.
14. Cook for a few minutes.
15. Plop in the mashed potatoes and peas.
16. Pinch on salt to taste.
17. Splash in a cup of water.
18. Mix.
19. Bring the mixture to a simmer and cook until it reaches the desired consistency. (I like mine to be a mucky consistency like a football field after the rain.)
20. Do a little taste test for the salt. You can add some more pav bhaji masala as it's simmering if you want a stronger flavour.
21. Garnish with chopped onions, big squeeze of lemon juice, and chopped coriander leaves.
22. Serve with generously buttered and warmed pav.
23. Stuff face.
24. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: If you're big on veggies, feel free to boil and throw in some cauliflower and carrots. I wouldn't, but who am I to stop you?

And remember, overeating is a myth. A fully tummy is a happy tummy!