Tandoori Chicken Wings

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun! Once, an Indian, a Brit, an Iraqi, a Libyan, and a Turk walked into a bar. The bartender looked up, offered them a table, and said a waitress would be with them shortly to take their order. There's no joke here, I just had a very diverse group of friends in Istanbul!

Back in 2016, when I was living in Istanbul, Turkey, I used to hang out with a bunch of people of different nationalities. Of these, one of my best friends, was a big Iraqi dude, Khal Haivan. Khal Haivan and I met at the local gym where we were both members and over a couple of weeks, we became friends. Pretty soon we started working out together (I was dubbed Küçük Haivan), and also started hanging out outside of the gym. Most weekends, we'd hit the local bars with a few others, have a few drinks, attempt (and fail) to flirt with the Turkish girls, get a few more drinks, then head home. Khal Haivan had a few other Iraqi acquaintances that hung out in different circles, and from time to time, we'd meet up. One such time was when Khal Haivan's friend, I-Cannot-For-The-Life-Of-Me-Remember-His-Name-Even-Though-I've-Asked-A-100-Times, invited us to a party at some German guy's place he knew who was leaving the country and heading back to Germany, and needed a way to finish off his food and alcohol. I say invited us, he really only invited my friend, but he, in turn, invited me, and so on that Saturday night, I went off to party with some people I'd never met, hosted by a person I didn't know, invited to by a friend whose friend was the only one actually invited, whose name I could not remember. Happy days.

We got there later than we'd hoped (owing to the absolutely horrible traffic), and walked into our host's place to find it packed full of people. Apparently our host worked in a job that had people from all over the world so there was a mix of Turks, Tunisians, Brits, a couple of people from Canada, and a smattering of others. There were people who worked at embassies, in NGOs, in micro-finance (I no longer remember what that means even though I had a very long conversation with the girl who worked in the field), and some I don't even remember. All in all, it was a delightful mix of young people, just laughing, drinking, making friends, and having a great time. A couple of drinks in, Khal Haivan and I started getting peckish so we went out to the balcony where a barbeque had been set up. With dreams of chicken wings, and grilled sausages, we burst into the balcony only to discover that the food was all gone. There hadn't been very much to begin with, and our lateness didn't help matters any so we were left bereft of our much anticipated grub. With the food all gone, we went back inside with rumbling tummies and snacked on grapes and little brownies, and resumed talking to the other people there. I spoke to a YouTuber about how he made money off just his videos, learned that the origin of a girl's name was from Greek mythology where her namesake was forced to turn into a tree to avoid the advances of a God, cringed as I listened to I-Cannot-For-The-Life-Of-Me-Remember-His-Name-Even-Though-I've-Asked-A-100-Times ask a guy who worked at the French embassy how to get a British citizenship, and was recommended I read 'The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared' by another party guest. While I was talking, I discovered Khal Haivan had drank himself into a stupor and was half lying, half sitting, slumped against the bathroom door. I-Cannot-For-The-Life-Of-Me-Remember-His-Name-Even-Though-I've-Asked-A-100-Times, the resourceful guy that he was, called Khal Haivan's roommate, Wow-His-Girlfriend-Is-Kinda-Hot, who drove over, packed him into his car and drove us home officially ending the night.

As I reached home, I thought fondly of the food we did not get, and sadly weaved to bed. We may not have got wings that night, but you can. All you have to do is follow this near effortless recipe!

For my Tandoori Chicken Wings, you will need the following:

Chicken wings	1 kg
Thick yoghurt	2 dollops
Ginger garlic paste	2-3 tsp
Red chilli powder	3-4 tsp
Dhaniya (coriander) powder	2-3 tsp
Jeera (cumin) powder	2-3 tsp
Garam masala	1 tsp
Salt	to taste

Prep:

1. Wash the chicken wings.
2. Toss the chicken wings into a bowl.
3. Gloop on the yoghurt.
4. Spoon in the ginger garlic paste.
5. Sprinkle in the red chilli powder.
6. Sprinkle in the dhaniya powder.
7. Sprinkle in the jeera powder.
8. Sprinkle in the garam masala.
9. Add salt to taste.
10. Mix until the chicken is well coated with the (now red) yoghurt.
11. Wash your hands.
12. Cover the bowl up with saran wrap.
13. Stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on. (Preferably one with a lid.)
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Count to 20.
5. Pop the wings in. (Make sure they're not one on top of the other.)
6. Cook for a few minutes until you have a nice sear.
7. Pop the lid on for 8-10 minutes until the wings are cooked through.
8. Take the lid off.
9. Crank up the heat.
10. Cook for a few minutes on each side until you have the desired amount of char on each side.
11. Turn off the gas.
12. Serve garnished with fresh coriander, sliced onions, and a big wedge of lime.
13. Stuff face.
14. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: Crash parties. It beats sitting at home on your couch in your boxers watching House of Cards.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Red Wine Seafood Spaghetti

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun! What is the Bollywood song of choice for the rebel Turkish army faction that tried to overthrow the government in 2016? Go on, have a proper think. Still no? Fine. It's the 1994 classic, "Dil ka panchi bole, 'coup, coup, coup, coup'.." from the movie Andaz, starring Anil Kapoor and Karis(h)ma Kapoor! What? That joke was pure gold!

I jest now, but I wasn't nearly as cavalier when it was happening around me. I was in Istanbul, Turkey. It was a Friday night and my roommate, Ms. Invites-Her-Colleagues-Over-And-Makes-Me-Cook, and I were celebrating the end of the work week by lounging in my living room drinking cherry vodka and listening to '90s pop (which obviously included the Backstreet Boys because I wanted it that way) when the news broke. All social media was down (which in retrospect is something that should have made us suspicious) so we were oblivious to the going-ons until we got a text message saying the military was trying to overthrow the government and that we should stay indoors; roads and bridges had been blocked by army tanks and soldiers, and we were on no account to venture outside. Unsettled, but buzzing on account of the vodka, we watched a movie to distract ourselves, and then went to bed hoping for the best (which was not getting killed). Later that night, at about 3:00 am, I was awoken by a loud bang, like an explosion. The windows started to shake, the whole building started to vibrate, causing the cupboards to rattle, sending a shiver through my body, and Ms. Invites-Her-Colleagues-Over-And-Makes-Me-Cook screamed and came running into my room. I leapt out of bed and we stood in the landing between our bedrooms for a few moments, and then I tentatively tiptoed to the window, my heart pounding, a visible tremble in my hand, and peeked outside. It was still dark, nothing was on fire, people weren't screaming, and it all seemed.. almost normal. As I breathed a sigh of relief and retracted my hand, we heard a roar from overhead, followed by a zoomy sort of whoosh, and realized that both, the roar and the bang, had been caused by a low flying aircraft (possibly) causing a sonic boom. We waited for a few minutes, but save for more aircraft, it seemed quite quiet, and when the sounds started to fade, went back to bed.

We read the following morning, that the coup had been quelled fairly quickly, with the most damage being done in Ankara. All personnel who had participated in the coup had been rounded up, and people were now walking up and down the Bosphorus bridge taking pictures of and with the tanks, because who cares about the damage when you have a tank selfie, right?

Unfortunately, for me, the coup was the straw that broke the camel's back, and as lovely as Turkey and its people are, I returned to India soon after. This dish, is one of the last few dishes I cooked before my departure.

For my Red Wine Seafood Spaghetti, you will need the following:

Spaghetti	300 gms
Red wine	3 cups
Assorted seafood	150 gms
Garlic	3-4 cloves
Parsley	tiny handful
Salt	to taste
Butter	knob
Olive oil

Prep:

1. Mince the garlic.
2. Chop the parsley.

Method:

Pasta:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a saucepan/pot on.
3. Fill it about 2/3 with water.
4. Pour in the red wine.
5. Splash in some olive oil.
6. Sprinkle in some salt.
7. Bring to a boil.
8. Drop the heat and bring to a simmer.
9. Pop in your spaghetti.
10. Cook until the spaghetti is al dente (cooked but has a slight bite).
11. Turn the gas off.
12. Drain the spaghetti. (Retain some of the starchy pasta water.)

Seafood:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on.
3. Drop in the butter.
4. Count to 20.
5. Toss in the garlic.
6. Pop in the seafood.
7. Cook for a few minutes until it goes pink. (If you overcook it, it will become very rubbery!)
8. Turn the gas off.

Putting it together:

1. Pick up your spaghetti strainer.
2. Walk it over to your seafood pan.
3. Empty the pasta over the seafood.
4. Splash in some of the retained pasta water.
5. Mix.
6. Garnish with the chopped parsley.
7. Serve.
8. Stuff face.
9. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

 

Tip: As an expat, always inform your local consulate of your presence and contact details to keep abreast of volatile situations!

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Grilled Chicken & Hummus Wraps

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun! New year's eve is arguably the most hyped night of the year. Apart from being hyped, it is also arguably the most disappointing night of the year. You make big plans with your friends on a Saturday night in a pub after you've had a few drinks in November, to go to places and do things to ring in the new year together, and as the day draws closer, people start to drop off with excuses of other plans. Worse, are people who say, 'I'm not sure if I can make it, but I will definitely let you know next week', because it's never next week, and on the off chance that they do give a positive confirmation, it's too late to make bookings, and you have to switch to plan B, which is almost always just another party in the city. It's the same as most Saturday nights but it costs 4 times as much, there are twice as many people, and they play 'The Final Countdown' at 23:59 for 2 minutes instead of whatever else they would usually be playing at the time, and as the clock hits midnight, couples around you start to snog, as you wait awkwardly for them to stop so you can get around to wishing each other.

Not to be too much of a downer though, I've had my fair share of disappointing new year's eves, and I've had a few good ones too. I've been to parties with my best friends and danced the night away, I've been to ones where we were buzzing at 22:00, passed out at 01:00, and up at 05:00 to go white water rafting, I've traipsed across Switzerland, I've even been home alone eating steak and potatoes while watching House of Cards. The more memorable ones however, (predictably) involve girls. These girls generally fall in the following categories: 'Girls I'll never get', 'Girls I'll never ever get', and 'Don't even think about it'. 2011-12 was the year of 'Girls I'll never get'; I spent most of the night talking to a pretty blonde at the party only to have her disappear at 23:55, then 5 minutes later, the ball dropped, and presto, snogging couples. 2014-15 was the year of 'Girls I'll never ever get'; I was at a house party and there was this gorgeous girl in yoga pants, really pretty, easy to talk to, and quite fun. We talked for a long time and seemed to be getting on great but every time we had a moment, we'd get interrupted by her best friend's boyfriend. This went on until the whisky finally caught up with her and she passed out leaving me looking around at, yes, snogging couples. I found out later (to my appalling luck) that she had instructed Interrupting Boy to make sure she didn't get too close to anyone. 2012-13 was the year of 'Don't even think about it'. I was at a party with my friends in a club in Sheffield, UK, when I saw quite easily the prettiest girl in Sheffield at the bar. She was wearing a dark green dress and the light bounced off her hair as she tried to get the bartender's attention to order a drink. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just new year's, but for the first time, I was compelled to make a move. Any move. But my mouth had forgotten how to speak and there's only so long a brown bloke can stare at a white girl in a bar without it getting creepy so I just pointed at her, and gave a  thumbs-up, smiled and hurried away. Incidentally, it turned out that she was sitting right where we were and a few exchanged glances and smiles later, we struck up a conversation. Conversation led to dance (poorly on my part), and dance led to shots. About then, the DJ started counting down, she went back to her friends, I looked around, the ball dropped, and once again I was trapped in a sea of snogging couples. The night wasn't a total loss though, I did see her as the party was ending, and we exchanged digits. I haven't met her since, but we began talking and became pretty good friends (and still are). She reads my recipes and since she is partial to chicken, has promised to try out my recipe for butter chicken. (You should too, it's fantastic!)

Today's recipe is another chicken recipe that is really yum, and super healthy.

For my Grilled Chicken And Hummus Wraps, you will need the following:

Chicken breasts	4
Hummus	generous amount
Tomatoes	2
Cucumber	1
Lettuce	1
Whole wheat tortillas	4
Salt	to taste
Pepper	to taste
Oil

Prep:

1. Make little cuts on the meat.
2. Sprinkle on the salt and pepper.
3. Rub the seasoning on both sides.
4. Cut up the tomatoes.
5. Cut up the cucumber.
6. Tear the lettuce. 

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a griddle pan on.
3. Splash in some oil and spread it evenly.
4. Wait until the oil heats up.
5. Slap on the chicken. 
6. Step back from the sputtering oil.
7. Cook for 5-6 minutes and flip the chicken over.
8. Cook for another 4 minutes or so until the chicken is cooked all the way through.
9. Crank the heat up, and flip the chicken a couple of times for a few seconds each to get the grill marks.
10. Turn the gas off.
11. Take the chicken off the pan and let it rest for a few minutes.
12. Cut the chicken into biggish cubes.
13. Grab a tortilla.
14. Slather on the hummus.
15. Plop on the chicken.
16. Throw on the lettuce.
17. Toss on the tomatoes. 
18. Pop on some cucumber.
19. Roll it into a wrap. (Or wrap it into a roll.)
20. Wipe the griddle pan clean and bung it on the burner again. (Medium-high heat.)
21. Put the wrap on for a few seconds on each side to get the griddle marks on.
22. Serve.
23. Stuff face.
24. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: You can use more (or different) veggies if you want. Grill them in olive oil and a little salt and pepper, or just add them fresh.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Kaale Chane

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun. I'm quite big on fitness and how my body looks. Okay, fine, you got me. I'm obsessed with it. For years, I've been hitting the gym nearly every single day, with the sole purpose of pushing myself until I find my breaking point. And not just the gym, I played football twice a week, went swimming, I even did the Insanity workout! Twice! Fortunately for me though, my body has a tendency not to put on weight, so it's been easier for me to sculpt my body the way I like, without me having to give up on eating certain foods, or drinking certain beverages. I do however, try to avoid things that I know are bad for the body and that I can do without. For instance, I avoid fizzy drinks, or anything with too much sugar; I've swapped sugar for honey in my milkshakes, and I've cut back on processed foods. I'm not a fanatic by any means, I still eat and drink this stuff, but a lot less than I used to, simply because it's easy to.

I've worked out with a lot of partners, and taken advice from a lot of trainers, and despite their different approaches to training and nutrition, they are all united in their advice on protein intake. Simply put, your body needs it. You can get protein from a variety of sources like meat, poultry, eggs, seafood, beans, legumes, nuts, seeds, and even supplements like whey. Whey is pretty good and I've used it intermittently after workouts where I've really pushed myself, but I'm not big on supplements so I tend to stick more to the natural things. Also, a steak dinner is heaven after a long, hard workout! But if you're vegetarian, or not keen on eating chicken and eggs all the time, it helps to have alternatives that taste good. (I mean peanuts taste good, but how many can you eat?) A lot of my recipes, are protein rich (if you hold back on the fat), and are most excellent to eat after a weekend morning workout. Rajma, dal, chicken, the works. 

Today's recipe is an addition to the long list of things that are rich in protein that you can eat that taste pretty darn good if you ask me!

For my Kaale Chane, you will need the following:

Kaale chane (black chickpeas)	250 gms
Onion	1 large
Tomatoes	2 large
Ginger garlic paste	2 tsp
Dhaniya (coriander) powder	2 tsp
Jeera (cumin) powder	1 tsp
Red chilli powder	2 tsp
Garam masala	1 tsp
Salt	to taste
Oil

Prep:

1. Soak the kaale chane in water overnight.
2. Grate the onion.
3. Pureé the tomatoes. (Or just use tomato pureé.)

Method:

1. Toss the floating chane.
2. Drain the water from the chane.
3. Grab a pressure cooker.
4. Bounce the chane in.
5. Add water until the chane are submerged 3 fingers deep.
6. Pinch in some salt.
7. Lock the pressure cooker.
8. Turn the gas on. 
9. Crank it up to high.
10. Bung the cooker on.
11. Wait impatiently for the first whistle.
12. Drop the heat on the cooker burner to low and leave it for 30-35 minutes. (Ignore all the sounds your cooker makes in this time.)
13. Turn the burner off.
14. Wait for the steam to escape the cooker. (Don't open it!)
15. Put on another burner.
16. Bung a saucepan/kadhai on.
17. Splash in some oil.
18. Count to 20.
19. Slap in the onions.
20. Cook the onions until brown. (The onions, not you. Otherwise I would end up cooking the onions for 0 seconds.)
21. Pop in the ginger garlic paste.
22. Cook until the onions get dark brown.
23. Sprinkle in the coriander powder, cumin powder, red chilli powder, and garam masala.
24. Mix.
25. Add in a dash of water.
26. Mix until the powders blend in with the onion.
27. Pour in the pureed tomatoes.
28. Cook until the oil separates from the tomatoes.
29. Drop the heat to low.
30. Shift your attention to the pressure cooker.
31. Lift the weight to let out any lingering steam
32. Open the cooker. (The chane should be soft; not quite like white chickpeas or rajma, but soft nonetheless.)
33. Fish out the chane and add them into the tomato-onion base. (Don't pour the water away. That is liquid gold!)
34. Add salt to taste.
35. Cook for a minute or two.
36. Pour in the chane-water from the cooker into the kadhai.
37. Mix well.
38. Crank the heat up to bring the contents to a boil, then drop to low and let it simmer.
39. Turn gas off.
40. Sprinkle on some garam masala.
41. Let it rest (lid on) for a few minutes.
42. Serve with (jeera) rice.
43. Stuff face.
44. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: If you have any left over, you can dry the liquid out (I just pour it into a bowl and chug it), throw in some chopped onions, tomatoes, cucumber, green chillies, coriander, squeeze on some lemon juice, and sprinkle on some chaat masala to make a most excellent salad.

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!

Bread Upma

Hello, boys and girls!

Welcome to cooking with Varun! My weekend routine in Istanbul was pretty tame. On Saturdays, I'd wake late, freshen up, and head to the gym for a painful workout with my big Iraqi friend, Khal Haivan (named because he's a Game of Thrones loving beast). We'd then make the short walk to the mall nearby where we'd eat a ton of junk food to essentially cancel out all our hard work, and then watch a movie at the cinema in the mall at student prices. Khal Haivan was studying to get his masters degree and therefore had a legit student card, and me with my boyish looks and angelic face never raised any red flags so I was never asked for proof. What's odd is, I always went to the same girl at the counter even when I was alone and bought full price tickets but she never questioned it (and with like 6 Indians in the vicinity, it really was most curious). We'd head home after the movie and then meet up again in the evening, joined by a few others, to hit the local bars by the Bosphorous or at the always buzzing Istiklal street where we'd eat, drink, and make merry, and eventually groggily stumble home late in the night.

Sundays were slightly less fun. They began (occasionally) with a steaming portion of regret and a big moan, on account of the shenanigans of the previous night. I would roll slowly out of bed, feel my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and then fix myself a glass of a haldi waala doodh (milk with turmeric) and down that with a Saridon for my headache. Once the pounding had stopped, I'd find my trusty cleaning gear and proceed to spruce up my house until it shone. Then very carefully, I'd tiptoe into the kitchen and fix myself something to eat. Most Sundays, lunch was rajma chawal, but on the odd occasion I wanted something less lunchy, I'd cook an extra large portion of breakfast and call it lunch. Paired with a large glass of milkshake, with my TV shows on the telly, it was the perfect way to spend Sunday until it was time to cook a lavish dinner, after which it was officially time to wallow in self pity because the weekend was over and Monday was just around the corner.

One such go to breakfast masquerading as lunch dish that I cooked was Bread Upma, which apart from being simpler to cook than it is to fall off a boat, is a great way to use up all of your bread even if it has been sitting around for a bit. 

For my Bread Upma you will need the following:

Bread	8-10 slices
Onion	1 small
Tomato	1 small
Green chillies	1
Garlic	1 clove (it is breakfast after all)
Ketchup	2 big squirts from a squeezie bottle
Turmeric (haldi) powder	1/2 tsp
Red chilli powder	1-2 tsp
Water	in a bowl for dunking
Salt	to taste
Lemon juice	big squeeze
Oil

Prep:

1. Chop the onion.
2. Chop the tomato.
3. Chop the chilli.
4. Mince the garlic.

Method:

1. Turn on the gas.
2. Bung a pan on.
3. Splash in some oil.
4. Count to 20.
5. Bounce in the mustard seeds.
6. Roll in the chilli.
7. Shake in the garlic.
8. Pop in the onion.
9. Cook until soft.
10. Plop in the tomato.
11. Sprinkle on the haldi, and red chilli powders.
12. Give the bread slices a quick dunk in a bowl of water, tear them into pieces, and throw them into the pan.
13. Squirt on the ketchup.
14. Add salt to taste.
15. Mix well.
16. Cook for a few minutes.
17. Turn the gas off.
18. Squeeze on some lemon juice.
19. Serve.
20. Stuff face.
21. Bask in the glory of your successfully executed dish.

Tip: White or brown bread is ideal for this. The one with seeds isn't so great. The one I've used in the picture is brown, although white looks prettier!

And remember, overeating is a myth. A full tummy is a happy tummy!